Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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