Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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