I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
