i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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