you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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