Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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