I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
