My nipple is on Facebook.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
