Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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