I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
