she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
