is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Randomize
