That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
