i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
