She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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