I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
