A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
