you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
