My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
