i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
