Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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