Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can't turn off my feet"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
