she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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