Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
