somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
