Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
