hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
