Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
