just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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