I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
