Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Holy shit dude........stairs
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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