i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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