i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
