she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
