Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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