i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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