I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
