you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
