Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I need moral support for this bender
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
