I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
