Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
