New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
