I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
