How'd it feel making her break her religion?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
