I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
