Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
