Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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