No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
