So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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