I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
