So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
