i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
