epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
