if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I need moral support for this bender
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
