Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she told me i tasted like america
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
